What Love Is
by lovelydarkness57
Summary: This is the story of the first and only time that Tom Riddle had known what love was... This is his unheard love story...
1. First Glance

Chapter 1- First Glance

By Lovelydarkness57

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series. It belongs to the great J.K. Rowling.

 **Hi!!!, t** **his is my first ever fanfic, so I am REALLY nervous *sweats*. I really hope you understand what am trying to do and I hope you all like my first** **chapter**.

 **Bye!!!**

A cloaked witch walked hurriedly down the obscured streets of Knockturn Alley. The streets were empty but she could swear that someone was watching her. Her steps were unsteady but she try to look comfortable. She thought that the whistling wind sounded like the voices of the dead coming to haunt the living, but that was just her mind trying to frighten her more.

The cloaked witch suddenly stopped in front an old store. Borgin and Burkes was a really intimidating place, she thought. No matter how much her mind was telling her this was not going to work, she knew that she didn't really have another option. This was her last chance to prove herself she was capable of doing something. So, the cloaked witch opened the door, and stepped in.

Young Tom Riddle was vigorously observing the deserted streets of Knockturn Alley while thinking that the darkness has never been more appealing to him. The darkness has always been his unrequited friend, but now, he thought, it was merging with what was left of his soul. And he knew that in the end when his horcruxes are done, the darkness and himself would coexist together until the end of times. This thoughts brought an unnerving smile to his face.

Borgin and Burkes was empty except for himself and Mr. Borgins. There hasn't been a lot of work to do lately, but Tom didn't mind because this gave him more time to plan how he will make Hepzibah Smith give him his rightful inheritance. Thinking about his desired locket did something that nothing could do to him: distract him. The cool, calculating Tom Riddle was so distracted with his own thoughts that he didn't notice the young cloaked witch step into the shop.

The cloaked witch nervously put her hood down showing her whitish, waist length blond hair. Her eyes curiously revolted around the obscure shop taking in every single detail she could get. Her eyes rested a little too long on the shadowed young wizard that was oblivious to her presence. She thought he looked vaguely familiar, but she discarded the thought. She needed to do what she came here for.

"Hello", she shyly called.

The dark haired wizard that had been oblivious to her presence mere seconds ago now looked at her with his calculating, pale eyes.

"Are you, um, Mister Borgins?"

"No, I'm not", he shortly answer.

" Okay, do you know where exactly he is now? Because I really need to see him". His stare was doing weird things to her because for some reason her voice sounded like a little girl's. She strengthened her shoulders and lifted her chin to look more imposing.

Before he could give her an answer Mister Borgins came into view.

"Is there someone looking for me Tom?", Tom, why did it sound so familiar to her? It couldn't be the same Tom she knew, he probably was working for the Ministry. The young witch was so deep in thought that she literally jumped when she heard Mr.. Tom's voice.

"Yes, Mr. Borgins, this young lady right here is looking for you?"

"It's that so? Miss...?

"Oh", a little startled by her inclusion in the conversation, "Yes, yes," she responded while nodding at him.

"Why for? And who are you?", now the old man was looking straight at her. She thought it to be quite unnerving.

" I'm Alissa Goshawk, sir, and I came looking for a job. Here."

" I am really sorry to inform you Miss..-"

"Alissa, please"

" Alissa, but I can't give you a job." He looked apologetic, but she did not care, bloody hell, she needed this job and she would not give up so easily.

"Please, sir, I need this job. I can do anything," taking her wand out," I am really good with spells, and I can clean..."

"I'm sorry Miss-"

"I beg you please, if you could be so merciful to me I will always owe it to you," Alissa knew that it was not well seen in her family to beg but for just this moment she didn't care a bit.

"Alright, but look at me girl, you'll have to work every single day and you will help Mister Tom Riddle, right there," he then pointed at the quiet wizard whom she thought to be working in the Ministry.

"Are we clear?", he had adopted a businessman face. Alissa nodded.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-"

"Shut up, and listen to what I say, you must obey Mister Riddle here, because if I hear you have broken something, I won't hesitate, understand?" Again, she silently nodded.

Mr. Borgins readied himself to go back to his workplace and said," Tom, tell her everything", then left.

Tom was really surprised by the fact that Mr. Borgins had let her work here. He thought he would just tell her to sod off and go back to his workplace, that is what he himself would've done in his place, but to his own disgust he did otherwise. He didn't know what this girl, Alissa, did but he was glad that she was at least not a mudblood. He knew this because her last name was a well known pure blood family, but that did not change the fact that he thought her to be a little odd. Who in their right mind would beg for a miserable job to a useless old man? That, he knew, was something he would never do.

He looked at her now, she was small, with a long blond hair and chesnut eyes. Her skin was delicate like a doll's, her cheeks were flushed probably because of the wind, he thought. She was happy, because of something but he couldn't figure out why she would be happy for a dreadful job.

She slowly approached him, making him rethink the reason why she was here.

"So, you are Tom Riddle?," she carefully asked. He knew why she was asking, everybody thought he would be the next Minister of Magic, but what they didn't know was that in the end everybody will be under his control.

"Yes," he coolly said. He could see it in her eyes that she wanted to know more, but he didn't give a bloody hell about what she wanted. He had more important things to do than to waste his time on an insignificant witch.

"What you have to do is attend the customers, and help them, answer their questions and-"

"Wait, I think you forgot to tell me or maybe you were going to tell me how am I suppose to answer the customers' questions if I don't know anything about Dark artifacts?"

"Well, as I was going to say I would be teaching you about them, so you will be prepared." Tom expected her to say something back, but she didn't, she just kept staring at him as if he had to give her something back.

"Alright then, I'll see you tomorrow morning, and I hope you aren't late, because I do not want to waste my time, Miss Goshawk-"

"Alissa, please." She interrupted him yet again, he knew that if she just kept interrupting him, he would use the Avada Kedavra on her.

"Right, ...", they just stood there eyeing each other until Tom decided that he wouldn't play this stupid game anymore and left her there. He told Mr. Borgins he was going home, and left.

- _When two people are destined to be together they might not know each other or even like each other but their future has already been written.-_


	2. Frighten Bones

Chapter 2- Frighten bones

Tom Riddle hated when other people were late, and Alissa was 10 minutes late. His mind could not come to comprehend the reason why Mr. Borgins had let her work. Was there something else behind this decision or was it just pity? Ugh, how disgusting, he thought. But his brain just kept coming up with different answers as to why he had to now wait for an unwanted witch of whom he had never heard of.

The day before, he had made himself sure that he had never heard of her. He looked in The Prophet, and even tried to navigate in his memories to find some information about her life at Hogwarts. But nothing. He knew that there was something off with her, but he couldn't figure out what. And then, an unsettling thought came to him; she might be an Auror. His world stopped, he could not let anyone ruin his plans. So, that night he decided that he would just have to torture her to bring the truth out and then kill her. That would safe him the discomfort of being around her presence.

So, there he was, waiting his soon-to-be victim to show up. Realizing that this task was going to have more difficulty than he had thought.

Alissa was late. REALLY late. She had completely forgot about the fact that she had a job now. And she should at least show up the first day. With desperation and embarrassment for her clumsiness, she changed.

Her flat was a big, crazy mess. There were clothes everywhere and she couldn't find her wand.

"Bloody wand." She could not remember where she had left it the night before.

She remember that she had come late and a little disoriented after the talk with Tom, for some reason she had felt that he did not liked her, not that she liked him either, but she thought things could have gone less weirdly.

He was more sinister than she remembered, and to be honest she had never thought he would end up working at Borgin and Burkes, no one did. After all those years of him being the "perfect" student, and her parents telling her that she should be more like him, she would have never expected this. NEVER. But as someone used to say, "Life works in a weird way."(Or maybe she just made that up)

She had finally found her wand and Apparated right in front of Borgin and Burkes, preparing herself for what was to come.

When Alissa had finally dared to show her face Tom was not ready for the view. Her hair was a mess, it seemed as though she had been electrified and her hair just went up. She was wearing the same clothes she was wearing the day before. She looked disheveled. Realizing her looks she casted a quick charm to fix her hair and clothes. It straighten her down and fix her clothes.

"Oh, hello Tom!!" for some reason she was cheered up. How annoying, he thought.

"So, what are we doing today? Are you going to teach me about artifacts?" She was approaching him now slowly, until they were face to face.

Tom didn't like her, he really didn't. There was just something about her that he didn't like and he did not know why.

"Yes, we are," his response was as cold as he wanted it to be. He didn't have to be nice with her.

"Alright." He thought he saw the light escaping from her eyes at his coldness. He did not care whether she thought they could be friends. Friends. How pitiful, what was she six?, he thought. Friends do not exist, they are unnecessary ties with people that just keeps you from being your fullest and in the least expected moment they jinx you from the back and leave you. Tom had never really had a fellow whom he could call friend, so why would he crave for something that he never really had? That was just bullshit.

Without any warning he stalked away towards the back of the store where the cursed jewelry was.

Alissa was not prepared for his abrupt departure. Silently cursing him, she followed.

What was his problem?, she asked herself. She was sure she had never done anything to him apart from being polite and friendly. She wanted to be his friend because that was something she was lacking of. All her friends from school stopped to her after she was rejected from the ministry, and The Tree Broomsticks, and Honeydukes, and Olivander's and the Leaky Cauldron, and the list goes on.

After being rejected from the first four places she started to suspect t hat she was, indeed, cursed. Seriously, she had never met any witch or wizard that had been rejected from so many jobs as her.

When she was near enough, she realized that he was really tall. He was taller than any wizard she knew, and she knew tons of them. Adding to his dark, blue eyes and black hair, he would definently be one of the most handsome wizards she has ever met, not that she would tell him, she thought. But, his cold demeanor ruined any chance of him ever being liked.

She realized, she was staring at him, and he hadn't notice. She quickly adverted her eyes from him, focusing on the necklace that he was telling her about.

"This necklace is cursed-"

"Obviously," she said as she rolled her eyes as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yes," he continued with his cool and calculating voice that made her bones freeze. "And you know why?" She shook her head. "Because this necklace belonged to a wizard whose wife had an affair, and you know what he did?" Again, she shook her head. "He cursed this diamond necklace and gave it to her as a gift. And... when she had it in her hands," his voice stopped, probably to frighten her more, which was working. " She suddenly died." With this, he turned around and went to another stand, leaving her shivering with fear.

"Aren't you going to come?" he asked, glancing back at her.

"Yes," and then a thought came to her, this was going to be harder than she had thought. And with that, she followed him.

The day went on with more deathly stares, and terrifying stories from the shady wizard. When they were done he didn't even said goodbye, he just left her. Alone. With the cursed artifacts. With a silent curse she Apparated in her flat going directly to her bed.

Tom was proud of himself, today was a good day, he thought. He had successfully frightened her and he hoped that this would make her quit. He also hoped that she was afraid of him now; he wanted her fear. And then, he thought that could also be a reason to quit. A cool smirk appeared on his face.

When was home he made himself some food. He lived in a small flat near diagon alley. It was a muggle flat. But, although his hatred for muggles kept growing, he actually enjoyed this apartment. There was just one room, a small living room with two sofas and a fireplace, one bathroom to the left of the room, and one small kitchen with a counter. He didn't have a table, but he didn't mind at all. Besides, he always ate in his sofa, in front of the fireplace.

While eating, his thoughts kept going back Alissa. She was extremely sensitive and vulnerable; that would never help her, he thought. He also thought in ways to frighten her more but just if she came back tomorrow, he told himself. Nevertheless, he had to be prepared because if she didn't quit in any of this days, he would come to the conclusion that she was, indeed, an Auror.

A sudden that came to him, maybe he could call one of his followers to do it now. But, he remembered that he had told them to lie low. Not that he cared about any of them, no. He did it because he needed to focus on the locket and cup. He needed to pay her a visit, soon.

With that, he went on his night thinking about vulnerable witches, lockets, and cups.


	3. Firery Anger

Chapter 3- Firery Anger

After two weeks of working at Borgin and Burkes, Alissa's life became something it had never before, a monotony. Everyday she would wake up on an unmade bed, then put on the same clothes she had the day before, grab an apple, eat it, Apparate in front of Borgin and Burkes, and be silently criticized by a pair of judgy blue-gray eyes until she got to her spot in the front counter. Then, one or maybe two, ( two on special occasions), customers would come and Tom would miraculously become the nicest, and kindest wizard in Diagon Alley, but Alissa was obviously not fooled by this, she knew this was just another act of his. Then, after the customer or customers would leave, ignoring-Alissa time would magically appear again until Mr. Borgin would dare to bring himself out of that office of his, ask about the day, and he would tell them, "I can take care of this, leave and have some fun." But of course Mr. Borgin would never say have some fun, the decrepit wizard could kill a flying bird without the need of an Avada Kadavra, his stare would be enough, but the optimistic Alissa just like to make things seem better than they actually were. After leaving, Alissa would go home, eat something like a soup, change, then go to sleep; and the day would repeat itself again.

But today, when Alissa woke up, she decided that she would put an end to her monotony; she would do something she had never done before: she would walk to work.

When you're a wizard or witch there's really no need for you to walk to your job, you have Portkeys, the Floo Network, and of course you can Apparate, and although there are definitely more ways of transportation in the Wizardry World, Alissa wanted to this the muggle way.

So Alissa, prepared herself by eating more than an apple; cereal.(Breaking her monotony.) And putting on some old, (the only one she had, actually), cotton trousers, that her mom had bought her while she was in Hogwarts. She reminded herself that she needed to buy new ones.

With her trousers on, Alissa set off into the crowded streets of muggle London.

Tom Riddle woke with a sudden knock on his door. He didn't know who it was but whoever was the cause of his sudden wake would really regret doing so. So he walked towards the door, half asleep and half wishing to kill this somebody who was disturbing his routine.

When he opened the door, he was surprise to find the owner of his apartment not to say the whole building in his front door.

"Hello Tom!" the muggle has always been extra enthusiastic. Tom remembered that the day he accepted to rent the apartment the man had hugged him. He could never forget how it felt; it felt as though a wrinkled raisin was trying to swallow him whole. It was disgusting, and he was ready to murder him right then, but he thought better of it, and he painfully erased the idea of killing him then just for the sake of trying to lie low. He knew people were hearing rumors about and underground leader who was planning on eradicating Mudbloods but he wasn't ready to show the world that it was him; not until he had more Horocruxes.

"I'm sorry for disturbing ya, but as you already know, you are 2 months late on your payment." The decrepit muggle looked really apologetic as if he was really worried for Tom not being able to pay in time. How disgusting, he thought, being so soft and weak was a reason alone to torture him. A cool grin quickly appeared on Tom's face, and as quick as it appeared, it disappeared.

"I know." His voice was naturally cold but when muggles were around he tried his best to make it sound colder just for them to feel it in their bones.

"Alright.. so when are you going to.. you know.. pay?" The old muggle was trying to put it as nice as possible, but it only managed to infuriate him more.

He knew that he was 2 months due, but he had a good reason for it; he had been paying fancy meals for Hepzibah Smith. He wanted to charmed her, and he knew he was getting there, but he also knew that she was hard to please sometimes, and those little gifts costed more than he would ever spent on anything.

"I will pay soon."He'll have to to work extra shifts meaning he had to put up with Alissa, whom hasn't quit yet. I guess I have to kill her, he thought.

"Son,... it's okay take as long as you need, but if you don't pay me at the end of this month, I'm going to have to take the apartment." Tom was furious, he didn't want this muggle's pity; if it was up to him, the old man would be dead by now, but a sudden death like that would bring a lot of unnecessary attention. And he still had some strings to tie.

Then, in that moment a thought rushed to Tom, maybe he could use the Imperious Curse on him. That would make the muggle do whatever he wanted him to do like jumping out of the window. A chilling smug appeared on his cold face.

With the chilling smug still on his face, he said, " I will." Then he closed the door on his face.

Tom could still hear the old man on the other side of the door. He then heard the decreptic muggle sigh saying, "Okay, son, okay..." then he left.

By the time Tom got back into his bed, he wasn't asleep anymore. He looked at his clock, that was, surprisingly, muggle. He still had another hour before he had to go to work. But he changed anyway. Since he knew he had to work extra shifts, why not just start now?, he thought.

So when he was ready to go, he Apparated in front of Borgins and Burke's.

Alissa was lost. She had never, ever, walked to Diagon Alley. The only time she would ever walk to a place was to get to her favorite breakfast place; and that was rarely. So now she was lost, in the middle of muggle London, without a clue of what direction she had to go to. Maybe she should have planned this before hand, she thought.

Alissa was in the middle of the sidewalk being knocked over by hurried strangers. She didn't really like being pushed like that, so she got into the first shop she saw. To her great surprise it was clothing shop. She walk by the displays and saw what she most needed: trousers. She took them, and she smelled them.

Some people might think smelling trousers was weird. The people around her certainly did, but it wasn't weird to Alissa. When she was really young, in her first year attending Hogwarts, somebody, ( she still doesn't know who), gave her a gift box. When she opened it, she had found a cake. It was not a secret that she loved cakes, everyone was aware of it because she always talked about cakes, ( and she still sometimes does, but only to close friends), so it was not a surprise to her that somebody would gift her a cake. It was a small, vanilla cake, with whipped cream, and strawberries on top. She was so happy and excited that she ate all of it in one go. It had tasted kind of weird to her, but she just ignored it when to her class.

An hour or so into the class, her stomach had started hurting, and she wanted to vomit. When she went the bathroom, she started to feel something on her face. It was a strange feeling; it felt as though someone was trying to pull her nose out. When she got out of the stall, and looked into the mirror, she saw a huge, black, dog's nose instead of her normal human one.

Alissa would never forget how everything smelled. It was as though everything was intensified. She could smell the people that were outside of the bathroom. She could smell tulips, that she couldn't see. She could smell everything. And although a normal wizard in her position would go directly to Madam Pomfrey, Alissa went around the school smelling everything. She had gone to all the places she was allowed, and smelled them. Surpringly she loved it, but then someone had seen her, and she was taken to the Hospital Wing. And that's the reason why Alissa loved smelling everything.

Alissa was looking for someone in the shop to ask where she could try it on. She found a muggle woman that was wearing a really nice light blue skirt that took her to a little cabin. The woman told her to give her her bag so she didn't have to worry about people stealing them. The woman seemed really sincere so she gave her bag. She thought about leaving her wand but it was too much of a risk. Later on she would regret not taking her bag.

When Alissa was done trying the trousers, (which she was definitely going to buy), she looked for the woman, but she was nowhere to be seen. She went around the shop looking for her but she had disappeared. And then it hit her: the woman has stolen her bag. She instantly went outside, (with the trousers in her hands), and started running towards the street on the corner. When she got there she stopped. The woman with the light blue skirt was walking on the other side of the street with her bag on hand. Alissa was FURIOUS. So she ran towards her.

The woman noticed her and started to run. Then, the woman took a right, and disappeared from Alissa's view. Alissa also took a right, and got into an alley. She went deeper into the dark alley and only saw trash. There were bags of trash everywhere, and foul smell accompanying it. Then she heard a sound, she turned just in time to see the woman jump from behind the bags of trash and run towards the street, but Alissa wasn't going to let her go.

"Stupefy!" The woman instantly fell to the ground releasing her bag.

Alissa approached her, lifting her bag from the floor. When the woman opened her eyes, Alissa Oblivated her. When the woman left, she notice the trousers still hanging from her arms, and silently cursed. Her day couldn't get worse, she thought.

She decided it was time to end her walk, and so Apparated. Alissa would never take another walk again.

When Tom had gotten to Borgins and Burke's. He had been satisfied. Although it took some convincing for Mr. Borgin to actually let him work this early, in the end the old wizard agreed, saying that the shop needed some cleaning up to do. So, there was Tom Riddle, sweeping the floors of Borgins and Burke's completely alone. (Well not really, but Mr. Borgin never got out of that tiny office, so it kind of counts)

Tom was silently hoping that Alissa wouldn't turn up today. Lies, he was hoping that she would NEVER, ever, come to work. That would definitely make him happy.

Then, Tom started imagining ways of getting rid her, and fantasizing of ways to get her fired. While Tom was fantasizing about those things, Alissa was stepping in the front door.

Tom instantly narrowed his eyes at her, but she didn't seem to notice. She didn't even looked at him; she just kept quietly walking. She was definitely acting weird. She would always say something to him, like "good morning" or "Hello." But today, she didn't say anything. She just kept walking until she got to the front desk and sat there. She had a pair of trousers in hanging from her arm. Something was off, Tom thought.

Throughout the whole day Alissa just sat there, coldly saying hi to customers, and never, ever, moving from her spot. She seemed to be avoiding everyone. And Tom wanted to know why. (That's a thing nobody knows about Tom, he's actually a really curious wizard.) So, when everyone was gone, and they were about to leave, Tom approached her.

Alissa had been trying to calm her anger throughout the whole day. But she couldn't help to remember how angry she had felt. So angry that Alissa feared she could burn the whole shop.

She tried to avoid talking, because just talking to someone would bring back that fiery anger, and she did, indeed, wanted to keep the job. So she sat there, quietly praying that the day would end before she exploded. But her prayers would be for nothing.

When everyone had left, Alissa was getting herself ready to leave when Tom Riddle approached her.

"Alissa, if you want to keep this job I recommend you to stop treating customers like that," his eyes were supposed to be chilling but the only thing Alissa could feel was anger.

Trying to calm her bland anger, she answered as nicely as she could, " I know, I'll think better of it next time."

"You should, because I would not hesitate a single second to tell Mr. Borgins." He was threatening her. She knew he didn't like her, but she had hoped that he at least had a heart. And now she knew that he didn't. And that plus the fact that her day was shit, triggered her off.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, AH? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU? I HAVEN'T BEEN ANYTHING BUT NICE TO YOU, AND YOU THREATENED ME LIKE THAT?!" She couldn't stop herself from shouting at his face. She was tired, so tired that she didn't think before saying anything.

"YOU HAVE NO HEART, HAVE YOU?" His face was so still that for a moment Alissa didn't say anything.

"Whether I have a heart or not, is not your concern. And if you still want to keep this job I recommend you to stop shouting because I could get you easily fired." She hated that his voice always sounded so robotic, so cold.

"THAT SAME SHIT AGAIN?" Wow, she definitely couldn't stop shouting, she thought. So she stopped. She wasn't going to fight with him, she wanted, needed, to keep this job. So she kept quiet for the sake of it.

There they stayed, for a couple of moments, staring angrily at each other, until Alissa's eyes lost their sparks and started to get watery.

"Please don't tell Mr. Borgins about this. Please," her voice barely a whisper. " I need to keep this job. I NEED to. And I know you don't care, but if you do this favor for me, I would always be in debt with you." She raised her recently lowered eyes to meet his.

Alissa remained quiet, waiting for him to answer her. She thought about asking again, when he said. "Okay." She was definitely not ready for his voice to be so soft, and unlike himself.

"Okay," he said again regaining his normal robotic tone. "Your going to be in debt with me, and when I ask you for a favor your going to have to do it. It doesn't matter where you are or when I ask you, your going to have to do it anyway... Understood?"

Alissa thought of it for a moment. If she does this, she'd be in debt with him. Was she really going to let herself be in debt with HIM? She kept asking herself those questions when a thought came to her: "This wasn't an Unbreakable Vow, she could easily just not do the favor." But then she would feel bad; she wasn't the kind of person that would deceive people. In the end, part of her knew she would never keep this job without him not hating her, so she accepted.

When they parted ways, they only nodded at each other and disappeared from each other's view.

Alissa knew that one day she would regret this. But she needed it.

Tom was never expecting things to go this way. He only wanted to scared her, but he only made her explode. This was not something he was planning on. And least of all he was not expecting her to actually SHOUT at him. It had been such a long time since someone had actually done that, that he had forgotten how it felt.

This day had been so full of unexpected things that Tom felt exhausted of just thinking of it. So he went to bed already regretting his choices.

...


End file.
